Sand For Sale

While riding through hot, sunny Tucson (please note the two words "hot" and "sunny") on a hot and sunny day, my brother and I noticed (at a quick stop for a drink, on accounta the hot and sunny-ness) something quite odd.

A tanning salon.

It actually got me thinking of some profitable ventures here. A great way to reduce overhead for a tanning salon here would be to just get rid of the roof of the place and lay down some cots. Then, simply charge people 10 dollars to come into your building and lie down to tan. Huzzah! A tanning salon.

The other ventures I've thought of include a cactus store, and a sand store. These places would be ideal for the Arizonan and his or her cactus and sand needs. Heaven knows how hard it is to get decent sand and cacti these days.

Epilogue: I've seen one cactus store (no, really!) thus far. Still looking for the sand depot.

A Reality Check From A Moron

Check this out. It rocks...

http://beernporn.blogspot.com/2004/05/friendly-reality-check.html

Errands for Arizona

It's 1am and I'm finally ready (well, pretty much) to head to AZ tomorrow for a training camp. I've never been the most organized, but I always find, without fail, that the day before a travel day I am always scrounging to get things together.

Things can't be found (passports, wallets, shoes, left insole, tickets) and bike parts need replacing--always at the last minute. And always, always, something that I didn't count on, occurs. (Today, I couldn't find a sizable cheque that needed to be cashed. After cleaning up the apartment and setting out a few garbage bags to the trash, and admiring my clean room--the cheque was nowhere to be seen. Long and stinky story short: I had to go a spelunking in the trashcan.)

Laundry always seems to be done late--I've never not gone to bed without the thump-thump-thump of the dryer as a quiet reminder that I'm not quite fully packed. And the bike, though cleaned, repaired and ready to go--is still not in the bike bag; this will happen tomorrow after a quick ride.

And now, being a grown-up (sortakindanotreally) means other things--deadlines for articles, paying the rent in advance, email auto-replies and the proverbial check to verify the oven is off--on top of the piddly pack and bikecheck.

But, to think--warm climes ahead! O, doth the warm sun harken me! O, shall I be joyous to garnish my pale skin with sunscreen! Arizona: lock up your daughters and stock your tacquerias--I am him, the time is now--Hansen's a comin'.

An Arizona Persona

To my three or four readers out there,

I'm off to Arizona to pretend and be a bikerboy guy for a bit. So, I may be posting even less regularly than usual.

Feel free to haggle over Tim Hortons coffee, gay marriage, horseshit and everything else while I'm gone. I may just join in...

Shampoo-ING

I never understand this language. It's almost as silly as English sometimes.

"Eh, William, are you done in der?" Guy knocks on the bathroom door.

"One sec Guy."

The door opens. William is washing his hair in the sink.

"Can I 'ave dat when you are finit?"

"Sure. When I'm done--" William says, pointing to the shampoo, "--Shampooing?"

"Yes! Exactement."

Guy walks to his room and tells his other room-mate Bernard he's not quite ready to go out yet, "Ben, un moment, j'attends pour le shampooing."

Meals on Wheels

For any cyclists in Toronto, there's a great program to volunteer with a few days a month. Check it out:

This service provides seniors, the disabled, chronically ill, those who have just been released from the hospital, and others who are unable to prepare their own meals with a hot nutritious meal.

As a member of this team you will play a very important role in the lives of people who may have very limited contact with the outside world. Your friendly smile and genuine care for people in difficult circumstances will make a world of difference to those you deliver meals to.

You will use either your own or an agency bicycle with a hook up trailer provided by the agency to deliver meals. A detailed map is supplied of the route to be covered, with all stops clearly marked. A Meals-on-Wheels sign on the trailer will alert other motorists that a delivery is in progress. You would be responsible for delivering the meal directly to the client’s home and pausing briefly to talk and observe their general condition.

For more info, just email Jennifer: jenniferwo@stchrishouse.org

Papal Plight

I chuckled, (and I apologize J.P., it's not meant to be mean) when on the news tonight they seguewayed from reactions of today's accouncement about the next step toward legalizing gay marriage--with images of jubilant pro-gay marriage fans--to shots of the Pope's sudden ill health.